negatività

Now that things are starting to settle down I've come to the conclusion that in reality it really isnt...its one of those things when you finally have a realisation of what is going on. The fact that we are actually moving in 6 weeks is starting to sink in...so along with that everything that I've researched, studied and gained knowledge about moving has come to surface..

oh we need this
no wait what about this
oh how will we do this and that ...and how will this and that over there work out..

Oh dear Ive worked up a sweat..I need a glass of wine!!

(20 MINS LATER)

pheeww...okay Im back... overwhelmed by just thinking of it all again..now that Ive had my dose of red ...I can think and type a bit more clearly...

In an attempt not to overwhelm you all I shall only speak of one matter ...people..yes indeed....living breathing flesh peeling humans...

Why are so many people so negative when it comes to things they don't understand or things they may have failed with...or even things they have successed with in a different manner?

I have heard time and time again....
'jess you cant do this...
or jessa that is imposable...it will never happen this way'
'or we don't do it that way here...or it just doesn't happen like that'

I truly believe that those who believe in something much greater than what is on this earth can simply make anything is possible..but more than that..we as humans have been given enough complexity between our ears to figure out ways around impossoablities...so why are so many people so fearful of just giving things a go...

I heard negativity when I chose Gaz as my husband...yes its true... was told it would never last... They were wrong..

I heard it when we moved to Uk...no you cant do it that way it wont work....They were wrong

I heard when I studied Italian...you cant learn in that format..They were wrong.

Gareth was told it was imposable for him to get a job in Italy as we weren't currently living there..and no one hires foreigners outside of the country let alone someone who cant speak Italian... They were wrong

Just recently we have continuously receive negativity...even down to potty training my daughter..which I must say I am completely proud of her 3 day potty training success...yes love her!!

But most relevantly ..we are now being told that we will never ever find a house until we go to Italia temporarily first ..then we will find something later and can move into something a bit permanently. Now don't get me wrong, not everyone has given us negative responses to this..and we have gotten some great advice on how we can make it happen and some great alternatives..so Im very tankful for those people who have shared their stories and advice. And I know I am not an expert on all things Italy..so I do take what people say wholeheartedly as experience and advice..I aslo know it will be a challenge and very very slim that we will find a house before we move...but why is everyone so indisputable that it will never ever happen.....

Its great to give people advice and help out anyway you can but if a person wants to try then allow them to. I have been told .. don't even bother .. don't waste your time..no one will every give you a batted eye..which may be so..but isn't it worth a go?? And if it doesn't happen.. wouldn't you rather you took a chance..I mean nothings loss really is it?

meh...rant over.. I'm sure you get where I'm going with all of this..the point of this post is that I'm bloody hard-headed and determined about the things I want in life..and I go after them whether people agree or not..and I never count something unsuccessful as a failure....its all an experience. Things didnt unfold the way we thought they would or had hoped when we first started this journey but wow....where we are now and where we are going is completely unexpected and new..so we are ready for the ride...

I do take advice...and choose wisely the paths I took..Im no silly wonka or street novice...but life is meant to be enjoyed as I said on another blog...why not live it to the fullest!

Now back to my wine and cat rubbing..

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l'impossibile è possibile

Wow has it really been a month since my last post..oh so it has..well better late than never. And this post is so worth it. I stayed far away from posting for the main reason of well..if I didn't have anything constructive or positive to say then I thought best not say anything at all..blah blah blah..how many times have our parents or guardians told us that..well umm I never listened. This time however I decided to be a good girl.

I began to feel a bit resentful of my desires and hopes ...dreams of moving to Italy and not seeing this happened put me in a bad place. So that moment on I decided to just forget about it. To be thankful for what I had here in the UK. After all we had only just moved here four years ago from Australia. I have great friends, a nice house ..the weather sucks but I suppose you just work around it for the most part. But just as soon as I began to have peace about staying in the UK longer than we desired is when everything started to change.
Gaz received a call about 4 weeks ago from an Agent that he had never even met in Milano. The agent explained that he had been refereed by another colleague that we had previously been in touch with. They discussed a job opportunity that seemed far too good to be true. The location was perfect, the money was excellent and the company was wonderful. Not to mention the project in itself would further Gazza's career well beyond where he is at the current moment.

After 4 long weeks of waiting he finally made his way to Parma today and met with the company after many phone interviews this was the meeting that would either seal the deal or cause it all to fall apart. And just as perfectly as it could have been the meeting defiantly sealed the deal as he was offered a contract almost instantly and now I have never been so happy to say that we finally have a moving day to Italy. Although Im not sure if we will actually live in Reggio Emilia or Parma itself ..they are so close to each other it really doest matter to be honest.

So as it stands 6 weeks before we move..wow how did this actually all happen so fast..Im still in shock.

Look at my happy face when I received the news!

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book review: ASK ME IF I'M HAPPY!

I do believe I said that I will do a few book reviews from time to time..however the last two books prior to reading this one well....Im still thinking about how I feel about them..

However I finally finished a book titled: Ask me if Im happy by: Kimberly Menozzi.

When I started reading the book I knew that I needed to finish it but then as life takes hold you always tend to break at the most unwanted of times..and now that Im back onto my reading frenzy I have finally finished reading it.

So what did I think?

LOVED IT! A great romance novel which gives true perceptions of Italy.

Ill try to explain why without giving any of the storyline away....

Firstly I loved the suspense in the beginning of not knowing what was going on with the main character (Emily). The great thing is that it is so well written that you get a sense of her personality within the first chapter. You are able to actually understand how she would respond to a situation which was great.

The second lead character (Divide) is equally as great and well I must admit from first description I wanted to jump through the book myself just to grab hold and snog him...and um..cough cough..yeah .....but well ...just a book eh!! SHAME

Immediately I wanted these two to end up together and thought if they don't end up together I'm going to be angry. What I wasn't prepared for was the bumps in the road that came along with reading this book and well there were a few surprise and sexy bits that left me sweating.

I did find that at the later part of the book I got to a point of thinking..what now..there is nothing else that can happen..its all done for ..and then had a look and noticed I had only read about 75% of the book. I couldn't for the life of me think of what else could come within the storyline..but of course the author comes up with something unthinkable that ties everything get together.

I particularly loved the usage of Italian language in the book and the descriptions of food and scenery. If I had not spent so much time in Italy I wouldn't understand so much yet had Id never been I would be just as delighted to feel as though I was right there through reading this story. Its almost like you could imagine yourself sipping a cappuccino and having dinner right in the heart of Bologna. This is a great talent credited to the author because though other books I've read recently descriptiveness have become invaluable it seams. However in this book its just enough not to bore you but leave you wanting to know more. Although there is a fair bit of Italian written, you don't feel left out on what is going on..it is very well written for anyone to follow along however I did become confused a few times whether the person was actually speaking in Italian and it was being translated or either they were actually speaking in English. I didnt really care all that much to try and work it out as the storyline kept me occupied.

So what didn't I like??


Ive mentioned before that towards the later part of the book it did feel like it was going to drag on but it really wasnt so much that Id rate the book as a serious negative ..just a small niggle that I noticed. However It did pick up quickly.

Id also have to say that the character Emily frustrated me at times...I wanted her to just get over it and move on ...or see things from a different perspective...really I wanted her to just grab hold and take what she wanted..NO what she deserved.
Her personality really reflected her pain which she allowed to rule her life..but really in reality this happens all the time to the best of us ..so while I say that she frustrated me ..in a sense it was probably because she is so real and authentic. Not a perfect girl who has been hurt and has it all sorted out or simply wallowing in her sorrows..but someone who is just figuring out how to move on and be happy. Maybe her stubbourness was too much to bear as it resembled a bit of myself..hmmmm something to ponder!

All in all ..should you waste your time reading this book?

DEFINANLTY! ABSOLUTELY!!

Once you start ...and work your way through a few of the saucy bits ..you will have no choice but to finish.

get your copy of this fab book here!!!

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Two minds at once

I've been away..yes I know ..first in Italia but then decided that I didn't want to post more winging and wines SNOOOORRREE...Its completely known that Id much rather be in Italy right now and since it isn't happening at this present moment Id rather post about the good times rather than the wishful thinking crybaby posts that seem to over take my thoughts at present...

Firstly I'll say how amaazzzing my last trip to Italy was...it was a completely different experience than usual. Instead of staying with my friends and family there we decided to hire a car and find somewhere on our own to stay. This proved to be just what we needed as our perspective of us moving to Italy has changed tremendously. We now have a greater appreciation for the Emilian Apennines. For most who know me..know that I am a beach girl at heart..after all, my all time favourite place in the world is Santa Cruz, California. Which hosts about 10 beaches throughout the city.
As much as I love the beach I have fallen almost ....yes almost just as in love with this particular area of Emilia Rogmania.

From the beginning of our journey to move to Italy we presumed that we would be only and always moving to Reggio Emilia as we have a special love and bond to the city. But on this trip we stayed in Viano which is only a short 15 min drive through the huge hills and dare I say mountains from Reggio Emilia. We then drove to Casina which was a short 30 min drive from Reggio Emilia and then finally driving to Castelnuovo Ne' Monti...which was um about 50 mins..give or take.

As we spent 4 days driving to these small towns we passed through many other villages, up and down mountains and hills, peered at large beautiful house..and some very very strange looking houses I must say as well. I saw for the first time the true countryside of Italy.
I think I must have fell in love with it at first glance which is a very very rare thing for me as I'm the over zealous analyst who has to figure out every detail of something before I can commit to loving or hating it. But I can honestly say that my heart was left within those hills as we returned to England.

We finally come to the conclusion that living within one of the small towns we drove to or through would be much more what would work for us, and now that we have come to that conclusion it makes moving so much more difficult as now we would like to experience more of the countryside before deciding where to finalise our location.

However one realisation we came to was that we may very well not even have an answer to that question (which village or town shall we move to) before we move so we are open and prepared to make changes in our decision even after we make the move.

Now that we have returned to the Uk, we are thankfully blessed with lovely warm days and cool nights..you know the ones where you curl up under the duvet with a nice book.
Well that's what Ive been doing for the last few weeks ..since I cant be in Italy I've decided to just read about it.. whether its historical Roman legends, ex-pact journals to Italy, or even romance novels about finding love in Bologna.

I've decided to not waste time wishing and hoping I was there or why our dreams haven't happened but to be thankful the the dream is still alive and that we have the means and ability to make it happen as we choose.

Now that Gaz is working again we have a new scale, plan, hope, dream, path, expectation ??? ...whatever you want to call it and which ever path God has chosen for us we are ready for the ride...

Look out Italia 2013 here we come....!

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Love hate relationship

Sometimes I feel like Italia and I have a love hate relationship! For the most part it's full of love but sometimes it's pure hate!
Tonight I was reminded of that sort of hate that completely slaps you in the face! Sort of slaps you in an Italian style slap...you know like kisses goodbye, not just once on the check but once on each side and then a third kiss for good luck as they say in Italy! Slap slap and slap again!
Each sides of my face was burning red!
Firstly I was jerked about with our B&B, so we finally decided to stay in a halfway decent apartment in the city which we left upruptly once we were rudely told by the owner that we were stupid for wanting an apartment with a separate room so that we could enjoy our evenings when our daughter went to sleep! He said I rather loose money than do weird business like this so I'll just give you a studio apartment on the ground floor instead as you should be sleeping in the same bed with your baby anyway... Funnily enough he started to change his mind and chased after us as we walked out! So we moved pn and spent the next three hours looking dor something sutable, call me snobby but the holiday is just isnt going to cut it!
Finally thanks to zia Vanna we found a perfect place in the hills of Albenea over looking the city of reggio emilia!

So off to dinner we went were I was studiedly probed into believing that rissotto with strawberries would be a fab idea by my waiter here in albenea! "Rissoto con fragole e stupendo!"

Mehhh it was amazingly vile! My nearly 2 year old whose favourite food is risotto wouldn't go near it! If that wasn't enough the table behind us spoke about us in Italian with insults! To which they thought I didn't understand! They moved their bags and silk jackets making comments about my daughter touching them! As she was moving about a fair bit! They also commented about "my kind of people"! Every time my daughter walk around our table near there's they would clinch there bag which were on the back of their chairs and even gave comments to each other at the table as to say hey watch your bags or jacket, implying we would go through them or something?? I'm not sure as I didn't understand all so I just wanted to leave and let my good friend speak up for me!
But as we took or bill we realised that my daughter was charged a sitting charge! We have come accustomed to paying a sitting charge in Italy but really for a 1 year old who didn't make a mess, didn't fuss about and sat in our lap for majority if the time...and most important she didn't eat anything! And on top of that they charged us for the horrible risotto that they suggested an insisted on yet we couldn't stomach! After already feeling deflated I had to deal with this mess which ended with a full on blow out with my friends and the owner and cashier at the restaurant! Naturally o stood there doubfounded as they talke far too fast for me to understand anything!
As if we needed anything else to cause the table of old silken bats to hate us any more! It was horrific!
Then as we were standing outside having one last over view of the situation between us (after we have paid of course) the cashier kindly brought us €2 for my daughters sitting fee...maaaaa vaffanculo!!

15 minutes of arguing with the cashier followed by three more cigarettes!! Not by me of course!!!! After refusing to take the money we happily filled or bellies at the gelateria!

See it was a happy ending after all!

So now I'm cuddled in my bed at the best little agriturismo I've ever experienced! We love or apartment and we love everything about this place! We feel at home! So as I feel deflated, embarrassed, worn out and insulted I still feel loved!

Dear Italia we really need to work on our relationship tomorrow!
Love always Jessa!

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home away from home

I cant believe I haven't put my thoughts onto paper in so long...sad I know. But the world just goes by so fast sometimes it leaves my eyeballs spinning in its socket. No really I could imagine my eyes twisting back and forth behind themselves if I didn't just sit and be still every so often. It seems however that I've been sitting more often then Id like to. I hate sitting. I hate waiting and not knowing what's going on or if things will ever turn out the way we plan them to. I suppose its more of an adventure but then on the other end it really does annoy me.

Lately Its been more annoying than that sense of adventure where you cant wait for the next thing to happen in life. So the adventurous little girl in me has decided to do something as I really do miss taking leaps of faith. In that leap we as in Gaz and I decided it would be a very good idea to drive to Reggio..after all what is the best way to get something out of your head pestering you over and over..just give in right..hahahaaha
Knowing that the drive is over 13 hours, we thought meh....why not then..however we only came to this decision at about 1pm deciding to leave the following morning. Needless to say at nearly 11pm we came to the conclusion that flying would be better so end the end we have now booked a 5 day trip to Reggio. Not really long enough feel sad (as we wish we were living there) but long enough to enjoy her great beauty.

So uncomfortably I haven't any relevant information at the moment except Im overly excited to see my home away from home...Reggio

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heart to heart

Just a little update on what is going on with us ...Ive been very ill for the last week and was taken to Emergency hospital yesterday. Today is a better day as I am home resting and I have alot less pain and starting to be able to eat. Thankfully I was not having cardiac arrest which is what all the doctors thought I was. They even said my heart, blood pressure, insuline, and blood works are perfect.. in fact better than perfect. That made me feel good about what I have been doing lately as I am on a journey to loose 20lbs before we move to Italy as well as grow 4 inches of hair before we go... that's another story..anyway

The short end of the story is I was in alot of pain for 3 days ..could not even get myself out of bed and my chest had spasms of frequent pain. If I tried to eat or drink It would hurt so much I cried.

The doctors believe that I have torn a muscle near my stomach and near my surgical area. 6 years ago I had a Gastric Laproscopic Band put in so that I could loose weight despite my disease that causes me to put on excessive weight and causes my insulin to be resistant. I also have a metabolic disease which makes my metabolism nearly stop. So anyway Ive lost almost 100lbs to this day but the not so good part about this that because I tore a muscle (we think) near my stomach it has affected my surgery and to a point where I could not eat, drink or even swallow my own saliva for 2 days.

I was rushed to hospital and after all the tests done they determined it was definantly muscle related and possibly a virus as well. So was given a steroid shot and muscle relaxer. Was also given some pretty sweet pain killers. So I went home buzzing ..but about an hour after I returned home I was able to drink a cup of tea..and then later even had a few bites of food. Then had a spoonfuls of pumpkin soup for dinner. This was great news as I really feared that something more serious was going on. When you cant eat or drink and have a hard time breathing you start to think about all sorts of things..but the hardest thing to think of was ..who would look after my 19 month old daughter. Then of course I thought about....I wounder how this situation would play out if it happened in Italy..how would the hospital handle things? Would they come up with the same assessment? Interesting I think..

Anyway things are getting better but as I type this I feel the need to pass out so will end it by saying Im here and the dream is still alive..hahahaha

Oh and I should also mention that Gaz has had 2 serious phone calls about short term contracts here in London ..so it may be looking up soon...toes stil crossed and still praying for it all to turn around..but for now..thank you Lord Im alive and feeling better!

note: please forgive me if none of t his makes any sense as Im on alot of medication at the moment! :)




Here is a photo of me looking like the Borg when the paramedics were rushed to my house and hooked me up to all the cardiac machinery..This was after I called the information line for NHS to ask what we should do about the pain ect and about 10 mins later they had sent a paramedic and about 5 mins later an ambulance arrived to take me to the hospital as they said my symptoms were classic for cardiac arrest.

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