Saturday, July 7, 2012

Why does everything have to be so fucking hard..yes I said it..why..because I bloody meant it..I know I'm not one to swear from left to right but today is just so frustrating..

I know that life could be worse...alot worse, but why should it have to be so hard at all..
Dont get me wrong I feel completely blessed to even be in this situation and having the ability to even trot across the globe but I really wish dreams were easier to come by. Or maybe our dreams are just far to large.. maybe we are kidding ourselves and should just settle into our happy upper-class lifestyle here in England..I mean that's what its all about right..having loads of money.. going on holidays all the time, living in a huge house whilst someone else does your house work, driving a luxury car and eating out at nice restaurants..all so you can say hey look at it not??

I really don't care about all of that, in reality Im willing to give it all up to just live comfortably and happy...all we really dream of is a life where we can spend each day with our daughter, pay the bills and save money for future projects and dreams.. and enjoy life to the fullest yet simply, see friends and family when we want and build everlasting memories for our family. Is that so hard to ask for?

Where is this coming from?

Since everything has happened with Gaz and his previous contract he has really enjoyed being home with us. I've loved it as well. I get to sleep in till whatever time I want to, have an extra hand around the house with Livvy, and go on family outings when many of the locations would be packed during the weekends and evenings. I can cook meals in peace without Livvy pulling on my leg asking to taste whatever I'm making, and I get to have a shower alone in peace..sounds like silly things but it really does change things when someone else is around.

Gaz really does love spending so much time with her and has said numerous times how much he wish he could do this forever. I really wish I could make his dream come true. In reality I cant see how that could happen. But why not? I really cant understand why it couldn't happen either. After forming a monthly budget we worked out that for us to live in Reggio for a year....Gaz could make working in the England within 2 months.
So in theory why not just work in UK for 2 months and live a great life throughout the year in Italia...sounds great but for some reason it doesn't really feel like its going to be that easy.

Its hard to picture something that seems far too good to be true, yet also too hard to be so easy...
I'm not sure if any of this makes sense but meh you see where Im going with this.

dont they look sweet


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