Monday, November 12, 2012

Its been an odd 2 weeks since my last post and so much has happened since then I couldn't even put into words how much has changed ...even if I desired to do so.
Lately my feelings have been a bit trampled on and with a sprinkle of crushed dreams to to top it off but somehow I'm still here standing on top of the world. As much that has gone wrong my desire to live in Italy hasn't changed.

The title of my post today is Scambio Bella...or beautiful Exchange....

Ive been thinking about this for awhile and yesterday at church we sung of of my favourite songs..of course leaving me thankful for what I do have instead of the things I do not have..for everything that was given to me when I definantly didn't deserve it.

As it seems that nothing in this world is given for nothing...nothing for free or given on faith and nothing for just the love of mankind.. at least not from anyone of of us on this earth now. Of course we are taught this as children and we are slapped in the face with remembrance when we are young adults as we take a naive and blind step towards something we desire.

At 33 years of age I'm still amazed how I can be slapped around like a young girl. But you know in life you cant give up on humanity or else we have nothing to stand for.

All for the sake of money...Ive had a veterinarian tell tales all to gain more pounds flowing out of my pockets into her pet surgery...and as a result we have been place in the position of either taking a risk of traveling with cat across the EU boarder and hoping no one realises the mishap on his passport or either give him to a willing family who will love might say well its only a cat..but this was the cat of my daughter's first birthday whom which she loves dearly..even at the tender age of 2.

And today just as things seem to fall deeper into a pit..we were told that the house we have been waiting on contracts to rent was no longer offered to us..WHY?
Because the owner did not feel she could trust us...I could understand this, really I could... that's if I actually believed the estate agent..Lets think of this for a moment... foreigners ringing up wanting to rent my house whom I have nothing on, no assurances that they would pay the rent..on time or at all.
But there were never any questions ask, never any reference requested, yet the decision was based on passports and an email conversation. They could have asked for rent for a year in advance and we probably would have provided it, they could have asked for references and we would have given them in Italy, UK, and Australia, ring around our employment references or previous agents and they will testify that each house we have lived in was actually in better condition when we moved out than before we actually moved in as we have a tendency to fix things up on our own.

Not to toot my own horn or blow my own recorder but I do believe that we are far more honest than the average Matteo, Giuseppe, and Maria. Yet somehow we appeared to be dishonest somehow. So as the anger seeped in like a creepy scorpion I had to relish on the Beautiful Exchange..

Relishing that not everyone or everything in this life is disappointing as it may seem over the last few days or weeks.

Relishing that so much has been given for my freedom, for my salvation, for my happiness, even so that I may be educated and so that my dreams may have a chance to blossom.

Now generally I try not to be too in depth, personal or super spiritual in this particular blog..but sometimes there is an overflow of the heart that is a reckon to be forced with...

In the past two weeks I've wept with friends who were deeply suffering, prayed for calmed souls of the bereaved.
These are people who just in the last two weeks have lost a parent at such a young age, unexpectedly lost an unborn child, lost their homes due to a storm and has had a husband walk away from their marriage.

How can one complain or sit in sombre in the face of such disasters and turmoil?
So even though my heart is truly broken for those who are lonely, hurting and grieving, I am honest when saying the my heart still yearns to know the outcome of our Italian future...but I know that there is a bigger picture within all of this.

So what happens now..for now who knows ..but for sure I will continue to be thankful for the beautiful exchange. Knowing that some things are free in life..and some things are given just for the sake of humanity.

In case you are interested in the song that lead this is a video of my church singing it..with lyrics and all!


  1. Jess, sorry to read the house has fallen through, there must be a better one waiting for you!

  2. thanks hun... Im really holding on to the fact that there is something much more amazing out there!