lets try this again....

The thing about blogging is you never know what sort of response you will receive from readers or if you will even gain people interested enough to continue reading. So where have I been? Ive actually been blogging but have since stop publishing them for several reasons.


1. If there is a non-significant amount of people interested in reading what’s going on then why share the details and intimacy of your daily life online? I have no idea who actually takes the time to read…as there are no comments or replies and this site doesn’t really give me an idea of how many people read it…so my assumption would be only 3 or so persons…meh

2. Sometimes it can be quite difficult to be respectful of others feelings as well as be open and opinionated in your own private space. If anyone knows me at all…you will know that Im as blunt as it gets however I do have a general respect to those around me. I make every effort to refrain from stereotyping and generalising but sometimes you miss the mark and say something that hurt others. Or sometimes you forget to recognise someone when thanking others …or sometimes you mention your despise for something that involves someone close to you...and then the shit latterly hits the fan and you never hear the end of it. I hate that feeling of hurting others when I’ve actually tried my best to be sympathetic. But reality is that a lot of people are insecure, a lot of people are hurting and broken and defiantly there are a lot of people in this world that are judgmental. So in the end you can’t please everyone.

Why did it take me 3 months to come to the conclusion that I really just don’t care??

Who knows, but I’ve come to the decision to start publishing my blogs again...(Thanks to a few messages from friends who basically slapped me around email style to say they would like to know what’s going on with me) So in that case –you know who you are- if only for those who want to know…here we go again…..
To save you from back reading and trying to catch up…here is what I’ve been up to in 10 simple points..

(jess’ catch up guide for the last 4 months)

1.I love my house.
Yes you heard me correct..I never thought I would have a 5 bedroom house and a large garden to myself..and believe it or not I am growing veggies and fruits, oh no watch out! Let’s hope I don’t kill everything before they produce fruit. The soil here in Italy is very different and obviously I have no idea what Im doing...thanks be to dear neighbour Vando who reminds me over and over that Im doing this wrong and that wrong..siggghhh…Ill get it right one day!




2.Livvy’s school rejection…
So finally we signed Livvy up for school as Preschool starts here at 3 years old. Although we have to pay at this age we really don’t mind the few hundred a month that it cost to interact Livvy with some other children her age. It took us ages to choose a school….private or public? Mandatory catholic service or opt out? So many choices. After having a long think we decided on the local school just 10 min walk from home. I figured that if we didn’t like it can put her in another school next year. We opted to keep her in the catholic studies at this age even though we do not want her praying or worshiping anything other than God. But the school was kind enough to let me in on what they did for the pre-schoolers regarding their religious studies and it was all very basic generic things that were in line with our Protestant believes. So after a long hard translation of the forms ect. We signed her up. I was very happy to get the call 2 months later to invite me to our first parent/teacher meeting with other parents…ummmm they neglected to mention that this was a special meeting for all the kids that were left out of the school roster...hahaha imagine my face when I finally got that bit of translation.. rimasta fuori....I will never forget this translation now..
The good thing is that she wasn’t left out for some of the reason as the other students…and let me tell you, it was pure gossip as they announced it to the entire group whilst your child had been left out of school…

-signora so and so…your child has been kicked out because you lied about the father of the child and since the man who is the legal resident in your house is not the father of the child then then you need to get official residency for the child first…ouch.

-signore such and such…your child is left out because: no we will not give you only two days of classes so that you can take the other 3 days to send him to isreali school in Mantova. Either he stays here for 5 days our you are out…ouch…(that family was not happy and even though I don’t know their native tongue I'm pretty sure the F bomb and other naughty words were incorporated as they yelled at the headmaster whilst walking out)

It really was entertaining…but sad when they finally got to Oliva’s name and mentioned that she had been left out because of her age (she is 3 in December and school starts in September). So since she was 2 months too young they gave her spot to someone who is already 3. I actually think that is a fair reason to be kicked out of her spot. There really is no rush to push a small child into the school environment and really the only reason was to integrate her with other children. But if the display from parents who were left out are anything like the kids who actually attend the school…I think Ill pass.




3.Pregnancy scare
Yes pregnancy scare...and if you know anything about me...it was truly a scare as we definantly do not want any more children….so waiting 2 weeks with no show of any signs we were a bit worried...not to mention how high risk my pregnancies are. ..was not looking forward to that...but in the end ...my dear old friend came to see me ..Better late than never!



4.We are completely broke…
Well to us its completely broke, maybe not to others, but when you are used to having a certain amount of money all the time, you sort of get use to having what you want when you want it...and now we have to think about what we do and how we do it. No more trotting off twice a year on a cruise or holidays around the world…however we did go to Australia in February, but we have reduced our oversees holidays to only once a year…Living in Italy is like one big holiday and we intend to make the most of it. I’d like to see so many things and whenever we have the free time we are usually taking a long drive to discover our surroundings within a 3 hours drive away…after the summer we are thinking of a longer drive down south…Puglia, Calabria...who knows..skies the limit! Unfortunantly I don’t think we will be on our next cruise until next year




5.Italy hates our car…
So far we have had two busted windows in our car…sigghhh...oh how we love our car…but how can Italy not love her as much as we do? On our return from Sydney and driving back from Milano Airport, a huge rock smashed into our windshield whist on the autostrada..and if that wasn’t enough, about a week ago someone or something…or whatever smashed our side window whist I was parked in front of the library...let’s hope this is the end of our window smashing reign.




6.I lost my grandfather, and two old friends…
It was a very strange two weeks. First I went through the process of grieving the loss of a friend... Well he didn’t pass away but he left his life behind by making the decision to not talk to anyone from his past. Not just myself but including others, but for me it was a very painful reality that our relationship wasn’t important enough to keep. That was a very harsh reality. Then a week later I had the pleasure of my mum visiting me, but sadly two days after her return to American her father died...my dear grandfather. The worst feeling as an only child is the inability to be there for your mother whilst she is hurting. I rustled with the thought of flying to American to be with her but in the end I didn’t. Then. as things begin to come around, only 5 days after that another old friend died. I actually knew her since our school days and we had been through a lot of ups and downs within our relationship. There were times when we weren't speaking to one another due to hatred for each other and other times when we shared our souls between the two of us. So news of her death was unexpectant, quick and difficult to handle during this already delicate season in my life.




7.I’ve taken my hair to a new level…
Curly it is then…for those who know I suffer from a few health issues that left me with pre-cancers tumours and have had 4 removed so far. Also had part of the lining in my uterus removed and in the process lost 85% of my hair, most of my nails fell off as well. But I’ve been well for 2 years now and since then my hair has grown back, for the most part. For 2 years I had special wigs made for me ...which I loved …but now have decided to give them up…and then to cut all the relaxed ends of my hair off and go curly..eeekkk have never done this in my life...so was a huge step for me...but I actually like it...however the rain is no longer my friend…those are the days I wish my hair was relaxed again so that the frizz would not exist...well a girl can’t have it all can she!




8.I stopped working on my novel due to grieving
Since losing two of my friends (who happen to be main characters in my novel) I couldn’t bare to continue writing the story of my past as those feelings were hard to drag out of the dark. I would have never guessed that writing would be so difficult when thinking about all the things that happened so long ago. I would say my biggest issue was the regret from all the stupid and irresponsible things I actually did at such a young age...but that’s the point right…to grow and tell your story to help others. Well let’s just hope I can’t get back to writing again son.




9.Ive lost 20lbs since moving to Italy
I assumed that once I moved to Italy I would gain a few pounds of weight back. But since moving here I’ve lost about 20lbs...which means I’ve lost about 128lbs so far…definanlty a shocker to me. Not to mentioned I’ve gained a 2 year old during the process. I’m happy that I’ve lost weight however I know that I still have a little ways to go. 20lbs more to be exact and then I think I might be happy...but the worst thing about it all, is when you lose a lot of weight there is this nasty little thing called stretched skin leftover. I think my biggest worry at the moment is the hot summer that is approaching. I know that it will be very hot and I will want to wear cool fitting clothes, sleeveless or shorter dresses. But Im really not that comfortable with showing off my body full of extra skin. Yuck. I never had this issue in Uk since it was never hot enough to show things off…uggg how will I manage this in a few months. Stay tuned!




10. FINNALLY….We’ve found a new church…
We have been looking for a place of worship since before we even moved to Italy. We tried one church in Milano and although the church was lovely and the people were very lovely...we didn’t feel quite at home...and it was also about 2 hours away from our house...which makes things a bit harder as well. I’m not sure how we actually found the church we are attending now, but it must have been destiny as one night I had a quick search on my phone whist waiting for …ummm something I really can’t remember at this moment. But I ran across a Baptist church in Reggio Emilia. Then I found a link on their page to their partner church in Mantova. We are not from a Baptist background be we were keen to have a go and visit this church. Turns out we loved it. The church consists of about 80% Brazilians which was something we had not expected, however very refreshing. We have made a few new friends as well at church now that we have been there for a few weeks now. The only thing that holds us back is that everything is in Italian of course, but we have come across one lovely woman who speaks English and helps us with everything we might need or any help with translation if we have any questions after the service.





Okay there you have it the 10 points ..now that you’re all caught up...I promise to be more diligent...well can’t really promise we all know how wishy washy I can be...but I promise if you ask for it...or you comment or respond ...Ill keep posting...how’s that!

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the greener grass

Its been said everything in Italy tastes better than anywhere else..and sometimes in a sorry defence of our own country pride we attempt to argue this fact. After two weeks of living in Italy Id have to say that its true..Who are we kidding ..I already knew this but but thought its just holiday food..everything is better on holiday.
But its been two weeks that I've cooked for my family at least twice a day and Id have to admit that everything is much much better. Some how I can keep the exact same things that I've cooked in UK or even in Aus as well and it just tastes completely better. How is that say..simply put ..all is better in Italia...
somehow the butter is better
the milk is creamer
the meat is softer
and the veggies actually have flavour.

Two nights ago I made Mexican food and although its difficult to find common ingredients such as soured cream and refried beans..and dont even think about looking for cheddar cheese, my Mexican dinner was by far the best Mexican meal I have ever made.
Maybe it was because I made the soured cream myself from scratch and pressure cooked and refried the beans myself. Or maybe its because provalone cheese is really better for Mexican food..I don't know but even the cheep tortillia chips were nicer than what Ive found in UK.

So whatever it is ..this is definanlty a win win for us...not our waste line but for our taste buds.

In some respects the grass is green on the other side... especially in the Italian kitchen!


Apparently Italians love cibo messicano too!!

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7 points about our first 10 days in Italy

I cant believe we have lived in Italy for just over a week..and more so I cant believe its been 5 days since my last post..wow ..I think I've lost myself somewhere between the vino, prosciutto, natale parti, coffee and ummmm general moving in.

Non the less I'm here and since I haven't much time I'll just post a few major points that I've noticed since moving to Italy....

1. The bloody Vino is something not to mess around with..after one glass I feel like I've had three or maybe four..goodness me ...walk a straight line..walk a straight line..line a straight walk...opps

2. Sky Italia are completely incompetent and overpriced..you know Im not a huge complainer when it comes to service..I go with the flow yet speak my mind to the persons in charge ..but SkY Italia are beyond understanding ...I paid 70EURO for instillation only for the instillation man to tell me it will cost me 25EURO an hour more for him to build a satellite post on the wall of my house since he couldn't get ot my roof safely..what and believe it or not ..non of the three balconies we have are suitable to face south properly...come on...and since it will be 25EURO an hour ..of course he estimates it will take him about 3 hours ..so thats another 75Euro Ill need to dish out..for a dish...haha I couldnt resist the pun....but if that wasn't enough ummmm he'll have to return to do the job as he doesn't have enough time to do it now...so we are still without proper tv and more importantly though proper internet and phone service ..siggghhh

3. Since we are on phone services...switching to our Italian phone numbers have never been so hard ...I suppose I can give thanks to my wonderful husband for this one as he didn't check to make sure our phones were unlocked..although they should be unlocked as we as we are no longer in contracts..well you know how that is ...so now we are still currently waiting for them to be unlocked..not to mention we have already opened our phone accounts here in Italy..siggghhh for paying for four phone numbers at one time!!

4. I really do think that those last 8 kgs Ive lost will be saying hello to me again pretty soon..I swear the food here in Italy is 10 times better than anywhere else I have ever lived. I know I should really not eat so much but sometimes you really cant help it...saying this as I push down my last spoonful of coffee gelato..mmmm

5. People of Viadana seem to keep a record of all people who move into the village.. apparently I am the talk of the street. soo the local fruit man says ...who conviently came to my door asking if I wanted to buy a box of oranges (which I did). How did he know where to come..oh apparently there was talk of me from the market Sunday about the foreigner with dark skin and has a baby with light skin that moved on to my road..wow..only 10 days ...word travels fast..not only that an elderly lady from across the road came by to visit after hearing I had moved in as well. Her friend (the owners mum) use to live in our house before she died and this woman wanted to see how I had fixed the place up..of course I couldn't say no.

6. Living next to the owners of your house could be annoying or pleasing...our owner Vando lives next door which means I often find him in my garden or using the spring tap on the side of the house to water his jug..why?? Non lo so! But since he is a very nice man I don't really mind as long as he remains nice. This was after all, his mums house and now he owns it so I think there are some sentimental ties to the house and I respect that..Today he paid me a visit ..as he does every other day to see how I like the house, seriously he asks me every time I see him if I like the house....which I later found out is because he really wants us to stay for a long time..the house has been empty for a few years after mum died as apparently no one can pay this amount of money to rent a house....shrugs...they should see house prices in London....

As he looked in the house he realised I didn't have anything to keep the draft out under the doors, so of course he decided it was his job to measure all doors and balconies in my house so that he could buy me something to keep the draft out..mind you I haven't felt a draft as of yet! But I just smiled and said thanks. After that he went on about how I needed rugs on the floors as marble and terracotta was too cold for a small child to play on..'yes Vando'...I have no intention to get rugs...I love looking at Italian floors too much to cover them up.

seriously would you cover these floors up?
I love them

7. I don't think I have ever had so much coffee in my life..when I had my first semi corporate job I would have a morning cappuccino, afternoon latte and then an espresso before going home ..and I thought wow this is alot of coffee...but now..I have eaten my words..I usually have a cappucinno in the morning, then an espresso in the afternoon..followed by a tea when I relax during Livvy's nap but if I have a guest then we always have un cafe...then of course after dinner we have another one...umm yeah this is typical Italian behaviour and I have no problem with sliding right into the tradition..but how did it happen..I have no idea..however somehow it feels completely normal ...I will also say that Italian coffee is nothing like anywhere else.......I remember when driving from the Uk ..the boys were really tired..as they had not slept but 2 or so hours for the entire 14 hour drive thus far..and so we stopped just after crossing from Switzerland to Italy..had a double macchiato..you would have thought someone had injected them with amphetamines directly into their veins..they were like two kids on the day after Halloween.


Im sure Ive missed something but I think Im too tired to write anymore.





well since Im still awake.....just a few more...

8. Everything in Italy takes about 5 times the amount of time it will take in any other normal country. We were prepared for this..well some what..so have only really been annoyed once so far ...which is really good..and well it was involving food..who doesnt get annoyed when hungry and waiting for food..now add in a hungry toddler..yep you have it..psycho house..this all because of course you cant eat until everyone has arrived for dinner..and as you have it three people were driving through the fog from Reggio Emilia to our house...tisk tisk..we did manage to finally eat at 10pm ...mind you dinner party was set at 7:00..hows that for tardiness..

9. THIS ONE IS FOR THE LADIES ONLY...MEN SKIP PAST TO THE NEXT ONE NOW!
For anyone who decides to move to Italy..and you are stuck in the situation to purchase..ummmm personal items..please learn the difference between assorbente igienico and anything that says urina or Lady on the front..trust me (look it up) ..there will be no happy hormonal days in the immediate future if you dont know the difference.

lucky number 10. I've found that Italians really do find our move fascination. They ask: How can you just move here...leave everything..with no family here? How can you just get a house or build a kitchen so fast? This usually take months for us... How can you drive here without stopping to sleep? are you crazy?? ...
and ohhhh if I have one more Italian ask me what I do for work..and then when they find out that I do not work ..they want to know why not if you have three university degrees, you can get a job surely...but how is that possiable..you have to work.. how can you live?
'è impossibile'
...and then if I tell them I haven't worked in over 4 years by choice they nearly fall off their seats..so Ive found that I'm really going to need to figure out a story to tell people so Italians can stop falling off their chairs or at-least stop staring at me with their mouths wide open in confusion.

Really would hate if something flew inside their mouths...
and on that note..Im off to bed!

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Discovering Viadana

It takes time to discover a new area. This is our 3rd country move and each time it has taken a few weeks for us to get to know the ins and outs of our area. But if you know anything about me you will know that I don't half do anything ..and Im a quick explorer..as my friend Fabio says... don't be so quit.. you're in Italy...now poor Fabio means quick not quit..hahaha but the meaning is the same..he reminds me that siamo in Italia ...and everything is slow..the meaning of life is to take things slow..its not about moving quickly and getting the most you can in a short amount of time..or getting more for your money...as some may attempt to do outside of Italy..but here its about having a good life and taking things one day at a time...unfortunantly when you want something now ..it really becomes annoying..so it will take even more time for us to adjust to this..but this is one of the primary reason we moved here.

As I took a stroll along our village I was thankful to live so close to the centre. We are literly a five minutes walk before you enter the centre of Viadana. Which comes in handy if G has the car of if I just need to get out of the house. Since I had not had excercise for 3 days I was feeling a bit of a lazy bum...

So livvy and I bundled up (yes its freezing) and we went for a stroll!!

The one thing I learned is that we need to learn our village hours. You don't think of these things when in Uk or Aus or USA...things open one time and then close another time and some just never close ...but we are speaking of Italy here..no every shop is equal..if it is the same name... Apparently we have learned that our village has siesta of some sort between 2pm-430pm when everything is shut and the reopens for dinner until about midnight or 11 or something similar. The shopping centres for food however close at 8pm and the petrol stations are always 24 hours self service..but full service in the day.. don't even need to get out of the car..I think I like that.
One thing I didn't expect but we learned quickly (and hungrily) is that non of the shops or restaurants are open on Monday evenings..we were really hungry and thought lets go out for dinner..ummm no everything is shut..not even a pizzeria..wow....

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siamo in Italia

Well what can I say!!

WE HAVE FINALLY MADE IT!

I should have updated this blog ages ago but then again it has been so insane the last two weeks I cant even remember my name ...let alone fine time to shower, sleep or anything else in my days. But finally times are becoming a bit less stressful and a bit more exciting each day.

Our journey started with at 17 hour drive which went quite well considering the attention span of most 23 month old toddlers. Id have to say my daughter is stellar and slept for about half of the journey, watched tv for a quarter of journey and probably cried the rest of it..hahahah however food helped her boredom when she begin to play up. I think she did well and very proud of her..

Myself I only lasted about 3 hours of the drive and left most of it up to G.....
I remember when we entered into Italy..it felt excited yet was a bit nervous if I'm honest..however each nerve was eased when we were asked if we wanted a cafe at the local bar. of course we did ..and after a drink and chat with the locals we were all happy and ready for the rest of our journey to Viadana...

No not Reggio Emilia...
No not Parma...

VIADANA!!

No we didn't choose Viadana as a place to live ..Viadana chose us.
If you would have asked me 2 weeks ago if I was interested in living in Viadana I would have no idea what or where you were talking about so am happy to say that we absolutely love our little village..When I say little Village it may be little to us but apparently it is the largest village in Italy...so makes me wounder why its not a town instead....Im sure Ill soon find out if I ask around.

We were blessed enough to finally find a house at the last second thanks to perseverance, great friendships and great friend of a friend of a friend..
Its true what they say...Its all about who you know in Italy..and this time I am very pleased that I know someone who knows someone else who knows a very good agent that found me a house that wasn't even on the market for rent.

We left Friday evening and drove through the night and arrived Saturday about 2pm. When we arrived to the house our agent wasn't in town so sent his friend to show us to our house. The funny bit was when we arrived everyone was there to welcome us. The owner of the house, his wife, his auntie, the next door neighbor to our right, his cousin, our agents friend and his girlfriend, and the local electrician. WOW..I had not expected to have a house full of people when we arrived. They were all so excited to meet us..however no one spoke English of course..was defiantly an experience..but we loved it..
As we walked into the house we got our first reality of how huge it actually was...absolutely amazing to finally have a house that we love, I must admit we did love our house in Kent but this house would be different type of love though. There were admittedly things we didn't like ...but they are so small that the amazing things outweigh the small niggles. The only major thing was that it didn't come with a kitchen..yes a completely bare room..with only four pipes and tubes coming from the walls so that you were able to install your own kitchen..its such a strange experience when you think of a house that doesn't come with a kitchen..very foreign to us..but in Italy is normal. But this is something we knew before moving in so not something we could complain about..we had prepared to make arrangements for a new kitchen before we arrived. Fabio (our agent) agreed to take us around to help us with finding something that we could get in our kitchen very fast as most kitchens take 1-2 months just to have them put in..when you think about the electrician, and gas technician, then have the fittings done, and then build the kitchen for you. THEN INSTALL IT.

Like I said its all about who you know in Italy..and he happens to know someone at the factory/shop for furniture..so we were able to buy a kitchen and have it installed within a few days..however the only thing with this is our selection was very limited..so much so we only had two kitchens to choose from with only a few minor adaptations we were able to make to it if we wanted within a few days...so since I didn't want to wait a week for this or a month for that...all so simple but..meh siamo in Italia!!

I quickly choose the kitchen I liked and bought it. Then became the problem that the kitchen is set up in the opposite of my kitchen..the sink is on the opposite side to where my pipes are..mehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
We were able to fix this ..with a hearty 300EURO price tag of course..as we have to have the gas man come out and extend the pipe..which adds another day on top of everything...So as it stands I should receive my new kitchen Wednesday or Thursday...but they are to start on everything Wednesday morning..I do hope they finish Wednesday and I can cook a lovely meal that evening ..how nice would that be...
Especially considering we have had pizza for the last two evenings.. I'm ready for a home cooked meal. But I will say ...pizza has never been sooooo good.


Now that we have been here for two nights...I can say it does feel like home. We are nearly settled in and hope once the kitchen arrives we can finally get settled. But I do think it will take another week just to catch up on my sleep..early mornings and late nights ...Im feeling the pain of no sleep today..

Doing what they do best in the car on the way to Italy..I didnt have the heart to wake them up!

the perfect little passenger

A sneak peak of my new kitchen that Ive just ordered! oooo excited!

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ci risiamo

Well here we ago again...We are now on to applying for our third house..And sadly to say this is the house that we have loved the least..but what can one do when time has come to a crunch..you sort of have to take what you can get..Now we just just pray that we get this house that we dont really like very much ..and then we pray that maybe we will fall lin love with it when we arrive.

When things have become such you sit and think about the actions that you are taking and wonder if it is all worth it..traveling so far..learning a new language and leaving all of your friends behind..and then having a little one changes things too..I am also taking her away from all of her little friends that she love so very much...all to move into a drabby house with a 1940's kitchen..yes with orange cupboards and all..but when I weigh up all of my options and look at the pros and cons I sitll believe this is the best choice for our current lives.
And a rental house is as temporary as you want it to be. We have decided that if we actually are offered this house then we will take it with thanksgiving and work with what we have...all the while take our time to find the perfect house that we can move into after the winter cold is over..but for now ..we just would like a house to live in with heat and electricity.

It could be alot worse I continue to tell myself and so with that I feel completely blessed.

Last night I was reminded of the people I will miss and those who have supported our decision to move even if they didn't like it or if they didn't understand...each and everyone of them I will dearly miss for sure...especially after t he send off they gave me last night full of food and cocktails..who could wnat more!!
Roll on packing with only 6 days before the big move!! I even got homemade cupcakes..how lovely

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Scambio Bella

Its been an odd 2 weeks since my last post and so much has happened since then I couldn't even put into words how much has changed ...even if I desired to do so.
Lately my feelings have been a bit trampled on and with a sprinkle of crushed dreams to to top it off but somehow I'm still here standing on top of the world. As much that has gone wrong my desire to live in Italy hasn't changed.

The title of my post today is Scambio Bella...or beautiful Exchange....

Ive been thinking about this for awhile and yesterday at church we sung of of my favourite songs..of course leaving me thankful for what I do have instead of the things I do not have..for everything that was given to me when I definantly didn't deserve it.

As it seems that nothing in this world is given for nothing...nothing for free or given on faith and nothing for just the love of mankind.. at least not from anyone of of us on this earth now. Of course we are taught this as children and we are slapped in the face with remembrance when we are young adults as we take a naive and blind step towards something we desire.

At 33 years of age I'm still amazed how I can be slapped around like a young girl. But you know in life you cant give up on humanity or else we have nothing to stand for.

All for the sake of money...Ive had a veterinarian tell tales all to gain more pounds flowing out of my pockets into her pet surgery...and as a result we have been place in the position of either taking a risk of traveling with cat across the EU boarder and hoping no one realises the mishap on his passport or either give him to a willing family who will love him...you might say well its only a cat..but this was the cat of my daughter's first birthday whom which she loves dearly..even at the tender age of 2.

And today just as things seem to fall deeper into a pit..we were told that the house we have been waiting on contracts to rent was no longer offered to us..WHY?
Because the owner did not feel she could trust us...I could understand this, really I could... that's if I actually believed the estate agent..Lets think of this for a moment... foreigners ringing up wanting to rent my house whom I have nothing on, no assurances that they would pay the rent..on time or at all.
But there were never any questions ask, never any reference requested, yet the decision was based on passports and an email conversation. They could have asked for rent for a year in advance and we probably would have provided it, they could have asked for references and we would have given them in Italy, UK, and Australia, ring around our employment references or previous agents and they will testify that each house we have lived in was actually in better condition when we moved out than before we actually moved in as we have a tendency to fix things up on our own.

Not to toot my own horn or blow my own recorder but I do believe that we are far more honest than the average Matteo, Giuseppe, and Maria. Yet somehow we appeared to be dishonest somehow. So as the anger seeped in like a creepy scorpion I had to relish on the Beautiful Exchange..

Relishing that not everyone or everything in this life is disappointing as it may seem over the last few days or weeks.

Relishing that so much has been given for my freedom, for my salvation, for my happiness, even so that I may be educated and so that my dreams may have a chance to blossom.

Now generally I try not to be too in depth, personal or super spiritual in this particular blog..but sometimes there is an overflow of the heart that is a reckon to be forced with...

In the past two weeks I've wept with friends who were deeply suffering, prayed for calmed souls of the bereaved.
These are people who just in the last two weeks have lost a parent at such a young age, unexpectedly lost an unborn child, lost their homes due to a storm and has had a husband walk away from their marriage.

How can one complain or sit in sombre in the face of such disasters and turmoil?
So even though my heart is truly broken for those who are lonely, hurting and grieving, I am honest when saying the my heart still yearns to know the outcome of our Italian future...but I know that there is a bigger picture within all of this.

So what happens now..for now who knows ..but for sure I will continue to be thankful for the beautiful exchange. Knowing that some things are free in life..and some things are given just for the sake of humanity.

In case you are interested in the song that lead this post...here is a video of my church singing it..with lyrics and all!

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